Shocked...

I just found out that one of the girls I went to school with lost her father yesterday. I don't know how it happened. It feels so strange - I never thought that my class mates' parents would start going yet. That may sound really strange, but I didn't know how else to put it.

Not coping...

Last night I cracked. I missed The Hair so much and I suggested that he could come round, spend the night last night and then go home this evening, but it didn't happen. It just made me really irritable and I wished that I hadn't suggested it. I cried for a few hours, meaning that when I woke up this morning my eyelids were swollen. Not fun. It also didn't help that The Hair came round this morning and woke me up when he arrived, meaning that when I did eventually get to be with my loved one I looked like I'd been sleeping in a bee hive. Of course he kept telling me I looked beautiful, but I couldn't quite believe him on this occassion.

The day's been good though. We've done nothing, just lazed around, and there was another thunderstorm. We've had one everyday for three days in a row, which is an unusual treat for storm lovers such as myself. I wish it would clear the air more though, as my hayfever is very serious this year. I feel drained all the time and usually when I wake up I sneeze like I've got the flu. Another reason why I don't really like the summer.

Tired but amazingly happy...

This week has been like sitting on a rollercoaster for eight days. Monday morning was pretty hectic as we packed up the car and left. I was quite sad to be leaving the Uni, especially as I can't find any Passoa at home, but I felt settled as soon as I arrived home. That was a strange feeling. I't usually takes me at least a week to get used to being in a home environment, but this time I didn't feel any unease.

One bad thing (and when I say bad a mean very bad) was that I started work the day after I got back. That wasn't the most fun thing in the world, but I'm coping. It isn't too bad at the moment, and I've been blessed with some very nice customers. I served this fantastic gentleman who claimed that I sounded 'far too intellectual' to be working in a supermarket and asked me which University I was at. It always makes standing behind a checkout for hours on end that little bit better. Some of the staff are being as intolerable as ever. I'm just thankful that I'm working the same shifts as Mum and that my supervisors like me. Again, it makes life that little bit easier.

Bloodstock Open Air was amazing. It was very chilly, but seeing as we had no shower facilities it was probably for the best. I wouldn't have wanted to be that smelly person on the train that makes people feel sick. Myself and The Hair met some fantastic new people via Nudger (he already has an alias, so that's easy) and Cave Man (Enigma's bearded manfriend), so that was rather jolly. I do like to meet strange new people. There was this very amusing German band called Edguy, probably my favourite band of the festival. They were very good showmen, and I would recommend them! Now I just have Nine Inch Nails, Thirteenth Day and Bloodstock 2005 to look forward to! Nudger has helped organise the line up for Thirteenth Day and he promises that it will be a good show. If it's not I can always stalk him until he gives me my money back. Moi? Evil? Surely you jest...

And now to the reason why I am deliriously happy this evening. I received an email from begoths relating to my entry to their Drawing Blood art competition, saying that I came so close to winning third prize that they were going to give me a prize anyway. I've asked for a regular Serpentina Maria Sangria, seeing as I only have the variant and I don't want to take her out of the box. The total now goes up to 55 and I have won one of the last dolls I need. Yay for me! BEGoths are the most fantastic company in the history of the world, and I love the guys that work there so much!

Bored out of my skull...

Grandpa Goth seems to be using that expression a lot recently, and I seem to have picked it up. That is the only way to describe how utterly bored I am right now. I've had to smuggle open my laptop bag as it is, hence giving me the ability to write this blog. Clever that. I've spoken to The Hair tonight, so I'm feeling a little better. By the time I cried myself to sleep it was getting light outside. Not fun. I'm intending on going to bed earlier tonight, as I have 6:30am start. I'm relieved - I was going to suggest to my parents that we get up early and just go for it, but I knew that they'd had t drive down today and I didn't want to put them under any strain. But they came up with the idea, so that was dandy. Eek! I only have 38% of my battery power left. I could find my laptop and internet lead, but I couldn't find the charger. I think it's good as I won't be able to stay up all night.

The Proms were fun tonight. I love singing in big concerts where everyone is happy and the audience know the songs. It makes it seem much more universal. I felt disgustingly patriotic though - I don't mind waving a Welsh flag, but a British one seems a bit too odd for my liking.

Anyway, I'm aiming to go to bed whilst it's still dark. More tomorrow when I get home.

Weepy...

I've not had the most wonderful time over the past two days. On Friday evening Princess left Uni. I didn't cry but I felt like crap. This afternoon The Hair left, and I did cry. I cried whilst trying to eat cereal. I felt like such a tragedy. Weetos and tears. Lovely. I've already spoken to him twice since he arrived home. Ever the doting girlfriend. I feel so isolated now with my two closest friends gone. It really is miserable. I don't want to go to bed as this is the first time in about 70 nights that I'll have to sleep by myself. I don't like that at all. At least I have my bunny...

I really don't know what else to write. The packing's going fine, even if it does look messy. I've been talking to Cousin Nurse a lot lately as she's preparing for night shifts. That's always handy.

Ugh...

Yay! Cave Mavra! I've had a rather crappy day and I am thoroughly looking forward to getting home. I won't divulge here, I don't think people would appreciate the language. Anyway, suffice to say that tomorrow I am going to dedicate my energy to tidying things up.

Dantes Inferno Test

This test is fantastic! Such a good waste of time!

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's 'Divine Comedy Inferno Test'

Apparently this is what I'll get in Limbo - 'Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.'

Doesn't sound too bad.

Passoa and lemonade please...

Grandpa Goth knocked on my door this afternoon asking if he did anything last night. I simply asked if he wanted me to run him through the course of events. Talk about idiotic. I have nothing else to add, apart from the fact that I went to the bar and drank Passoa.

This post was written to Stevie Nicks 'Sorcerer' and 'That Made Me Stronger'.

Miffed...

I'm frustrated about last night. I keep thinking of how he takes so much from us in the way of time, energy and emotion, and he never gives anything back. He's like a thorn in my side that I can't pull out because it would be cruel to the thorn and I would feel terribly guilty. Argh! I feel like yelling at him and telling him to grow up and get a life. He was throwing himself around because he thinks he did badly in an exam that he can retake. How pathetic. I know I may sound bitter, but it annoys me that he won't come and talk to us, but it's fine when we have to clear the blood from round his mouth at midnight. I feel so used.

There is one sad thing about yesterday. I wanted to buy a tiara, but I didn't find one. Grrr! I want to be a princess.

This post has been written to Stevie Nicks 'Trouble in Shangri-La', 'Candlebright' and 'Planets of the Universe' and Hole 'Violet'.

Scary skeletons!

Today was amazing! I big 'thank you' to Princess for taking me to so many wonderful places. We went to this funky place called The Triangle which had a beautiful rainbow wall and you could tell that the interior designers had really gone to town. Then we went to Afflecks Palace, again a very funky place. There I bought myself a new diary, a headband and Princess bought me a lovely lacey fishnet like top for my birthday. I also bought a BEGoths doll for The Hair, so he's happy now. Then we went to Pizza Hut (yum yum!) where Princess was rather happy, as although she had ordered a small and I a medium, they served us two mediums whilst only charging her for a small. I realise that the grammar of that sentence was appaling, but it's late and I want to get all my thoughts down.

Then we went to look in some other pretty shops before going to the IMAX Cinema to see a short 3D film called 'Haunted Castle' which was rather scary! My reflexes kept telling me to shield myself from flying skeletal debris and things like that, so it was certainly an experience. We then went to the Disney Store, although I was a very good girl and didn't buy myself anything. After that we did some general shopping as Princess wanted to buy something for her boyfriend's birthday and I was just enjoying being in Manchester. I bought myself some more beaded braclets and 'Trouble in Shangri-La' by Stevie Nicks, an album which I've wanted for ages.

We had to run to the train station, much to the aggrivation of my dodgy knee, and arrived on the platform just as the train was pulling into the station. There was a little girl near us on the train who insisted on colouring everything in pink and kept having tantrums when her mum wouldn't let her draw on the table, but hey, we can't have everything in life.

This evening was going rather well. I was relaxing and looking forward to sleeping in for a bit tomorrow morning, but when I went to show Princess a feature of my new diary I found Grandpa Goth collapsed in the corridor. He was obviously drunk and had cut his lip when he'd fallen. He kept punching and kicking the walls, so myself and Princess went to see the porter whilst The Hair stayed with him on the floor. In the end he went to his room and we had to call the porter up, who made sure that he was OK and then left, telling us that we'd done the right thing. I'm so glad that we've got good porters in this place - they really look after you. I'm now feeling very down and can't wait to go to bed and have a little cry. I don't like having to deal with drunk manic depressants.

This blog has not be written to any music, as it's the early hours of the morning and I'm not really in a chipper music-listening mood right now. Maybe tomorrow.

A strange evening...

I don't understand myself. I was all happy and bubbly after my exam, like nothing was wrong in the world. Then I had a nap until about 7pm, and when I woke up I was in a foul mood. I even started crying. Very strange. The Hair pretended to be a cat in an attempt to cheer me up, but I wasn't having any of it. I feel better now though. I've spoken to Dad and had some ice cream, so that perked me up a bit. I think it was just a release from having finished everything this year. I also have a theory that the stress I was meant to feel last night caught up with my this evening instead. I'm glad I've perked up now - it was a very unpleasant feeling.

To think that this time next week I'll be at home, hopefully lounging on our comfortable sofas in front of the TV having had a good meal and a long hot bath. I can't wait to leave this place now. It feels so claustrophobic. It's a shame I have to go the Uni Proms in a way, although that should be a fun way to end the year.

I'm so excited about tomorrow. Myself and Princess are going to try to find birthday presents for our significant others, so that should be interesting. I hope I find something that The Hair likes!

I've decided to start a new thing on this Blog. I'm going to write down the music that I have been listening whilst writing each post. This post has been written to Hole 'Celebrity Skin' and 'Violet', Garbage '#1 Crush' and Everclear 'Local God'.

Freedom feels good...

Wohoo! Hurrah! Other random exclamatory phrases! I keep listening to 'Celebrity Skin' by Hole over and over again, that's how happy I am. Yay! The paper was fantastic - it had one of the questions I was hoping would be on there so that was spiffing. I rang Mum and told her the good news, so she's happy too. Eek! I feel so happy! I'm going to look for some celebratory graphics to go on this Blog now...

OK, I didn't find any pictures that would look decent on here, but I made a special celebratory page instead. It has lots of stars and trees on it with pretty brushes I got off the internet, so I'm quite proud of it. I guess it's like potato printing for your laptop. The Hair told me that I should tidy my room whilst he's at his math's exam, but I don't want to do that just yet. I like having fun doing nothing productive. It makes time fly. A week today I'll be at home and probably writing my Blog on Dad's big computer. Computer's scare me! They're big! Hee hee! No more exams!

I spoke to my lovely cuddly Jonny today. He was telling me about this girl he had to write a report about in Cambodia. At at age of eight she couldn't move a muscle and within a year she'd learnt to walk again. That made me feel very happy, knowing that a little girl had learnt to walk again. He said that because of what the doctors did for her, she wants to be a doctor when she's older. I think that's wonderful. I also think that Jonny is wonderful for going to live in Cambodia and help ill people. Three cheers for Jonny!

Icky tummy...

I have an hour and a half until my last exam for this year. My stomach is churning I'm so nervous! Last night I ended up rambling on about dramatic monologues to The Hair when I knew he was doing maths revision. It helped anyway. He's still in bed. I wanted to stay in bed this morning!

Well I'd better go dry my hair (and no, I haven't just got out the shower - I've been up for an hour now) and have some food. I'll be back later for a little celebration!

Ooh, two Princesses...

Ha! I confused many Uni folk today by changing my MSN name to 'Princess'. They were puzzled as they though that I had stolen the identity of the Princess in which I write about in this humble Blog, but they were incorrect! 'Princess' was the charming name given to me by my fantastical identical hand twin Heather, whom I share the strange abode of h.a.s.a.h with. Ha ha! I like causing mental chaos! I do miss my Heather though, and am very much looking forward to seeing her lovely self over the summer.

On a calmer note, I don't want to have an exam in the morning. I've just looked at the clock though, and it is officially 12 hours until I have finished my first year at University. It feels very strange!

Shirley!

I was very bored this morning whilst I was waiting for The Hair to get out of bed, so I decided to do some more crappy personality quizzes on the net. I am very happy with the first result! I'm so sad that I couldn't see Garbage at Download yesterday...

I was a tad confused when I got Shirley, as I'd taken a very similar quiz before and came out as Courtney...

However, when I took the same test this morning, I obviously changed some of my answers and came out with something rather unexpected...

I think I'll just settle for the fact that I'm a bit of each. Probably Shirley's wildness and sass, Courtney's toughness and opinionated nature and Cerys' humour and nationality. You have to love the Welsh in me!

Eek! Exams!

Today I had my first exam. It was English Language, so it wasn't that bad. The questions were nice and I got to write a mini-essay on punctuation, so that was jolly. I'm not looking forward to Monday morning though, English Literature exams scare me!

Stuff has been OK since I last wrote a proper entry in here. Princess is taking my to Afflecks Palace in on Tuesday, so I'm excited about that! I've heard so many wonderful things about that place - it sounds amazing. We'll probably go to Pizza Hut whilst we're in Manchester, so I'm looking forward to that too!

On the subject of falls, one of my friends on the BEGoths forum has made an amazing set. I'm going to try to buy them why she puts them on Ebay. Yay!

I can't really think of anything inspiring to write about, I'll probably be a lot more talkative on Monday when I've got my exams over and done with.

Oh, fun quizzes!

Myself and The Hair took a quiz to see which Marvel comic book characters we are. We came out as



and

Rows...

I hate fights, absolutely hate them. I don't understand why people can't be civil enough to just sit down and have a reasonable talk. Myself and Princess tried to be reasonable today, but we got shouted at in response. I also hate it when people can't just take responsibility for their mistakes.

I also had a fight with The Hair last night. We both put it down to me being stressed with exams - he's very understanding. I'm so lucky to have a guy like him!

At the moment I really want a pair of hair falls. Seeing as I'm too vain to dye and dread my real hair, they would be the perfect solution to my boring hair problem. Something like this would be cool...

I could put them in in the morning, take them out a night, and be merry! If any of my friends want to be lovely and buy me some, I'd love them forever!

And another Blog is born...

Yay! Me and my lovely Heather have a Blog that both of us are writing in. That makes me happy!

Today Butterfly tried to apologise for being off with me for the past goodness knows how long, but I wouldn't have any of it. I told her that she had to apologise to Princess first, because she's the one who's words she twisted. The Hair doesn't like Butterfly at this precise moment in time, as he thinks that she is 'full of excrement'. He didn't actually say excrement, but I thought I'd censor it.

Myself and Princess have just dined on cake, ice cream and pickled onions. I now have a funny feeling in my tummy. We both like the taste of the onion juice too, so that's nice. I can imagine us in several years time in some Onion-holics Anonymous clinic spilling our hearts out to fellow onion lovers about how we can't break the habit. We'd spend our days either too high on medication to know what was going on, or huddled in the corner shaking from our shared cold turkey.

That was a rather random interlude, so now I think I shall move on.

My marvellous parents ordered my dollies for me last night. Keep checking my other Blogs to see if I update with pictures or the like.

I don't really have anything sensible to say, so I think I shall go hug The Hair now...